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The Evolution of Somaiya Timings — A Funny Timeline

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The Evolution of Somaiya Timings — A Funny Timeline

The Evolution of Somaiya Timings — A Funny Timeline

There's regular time. There's Indian Standard Time.

And then there's Somaiya Time.

A strange dimension where 8:00 AM means "should have left 20 minutes ago," where 10-minute breaks last 45 minutes, and where "just 5 more minutes" has no relationship to actual minutes.

Here's the complete timeline of a Somaiya student's relationship with time.

5:30 AM — The Optimistic Alarm

You set this alarm with pure intentions.

What you imagined: Wake up refreshed. Morning workout. Healthy breakfast. Review yesterday's notes. Arrive early. Front bench. Teacher's respect.

What happens: Phone thrown across room. Back to sleep. No memory of alarm existing.

6:00 AM — The Backup Alarm

The second alarm. The safety net.

You knew the 5:30 wouldn't work. That's why you set this one.

Status: Also ignored.

6:30 AM — The "This One Is Real" Alarm

Okay, this is the actual wake-up alarm. The previous ones were... aspirational.

What happens: One eye opens. Brain calculates: "If I skip breakfast and take an auto instead of bus, I can sleep 20 more minutes."

Decision made. Back to sleep.

6:50 AM — The Panic Alarm

This alarm has a different ringtone. A more aggressive one.

This is when you actually start processing reality:

  • You're horizontal
  • You should be vertical
  • Time is not on your side

The negotiation: "I can skip the shower. I showered yesterday. That counts."

7:00 AM — The "I'm Definitely Late" Realization

You're moving now. But with chaos energy:

  • Toothbrush in mouth while finding clothes
  • Bag being packed while trying to remember what day it is
  • Keys nowhere to be found
  • Phone at 23% battery

Internal monologue: "Maybe there's traffic and the lecture starts late."

7:30 AM — The Commute

Whether it's bus, train, or auto — this is calculation time:

  • "If we hit two more green lights..."
  • "If the teacher is also running late..."
  • "If I enter from the back door..."

Phone activity: Texting friends: "Save a seat" or "Did they take attendance yet?"

7:55 AM — The Campus Sprint

You're here. You're not in class. These 5 minutes determine everything.

The speed run:

  • Skip the elevator (full or slow)
  • Stairs: two at a time
  • Corridor: controlled jog
  • Door: quiet entry attempted

8:00 AM — The Attendance Moment

The teacher's eyes scan the room.

If you made it: Silent victory. Slide into seat. Act like you've been there for hours.

If you didn't: The eternal question: "Excuse me sir, can I come in?"

Teacher's response options:

  1. "Yes, come." (Relief)
  2. "Stand outside for 10 minutes." (Embarrassment)
  3. Silent stare (Interpretation required)

8:05 AM — The "Brain Not Yet Online" Phase

You're physically present. Mentally, you're still in bed.

Activities:

  • Staring at board with zero comprehension
  • Nodding at random intervals
  • Drawing in margins
  • Counting ceiling tiles

9:00 AM — First Break (Sort Of)

The lecture ends. You have 10 minutes.

What 10 minutes means:

  • Walk to canteen: 3 min
  • Wait in line: 4 min
  • Eat/drink: 2 min
  • Walk back: 3 min

Total: 12 minutes minimum

Reality: You're late to the next lecture too.

10:30 AM — The Peak Productivity Illusion

This is when you feel most awake and think:

"I should use my time better. From tomorrow, I'll wake up early and study regularly."

Status: This thought occurs every day. Implementation: never.

11:00 AM — The Pre-Lunch Hunger

The stomach starts making sounds that echo in the quiet lecture hall.

Internal dialogue:

  • "Is it weird if I eat now?"
  • "Does this biscuit rustle too loud?"
  • "How long until lunch break?"

Answer: Too long. Always too long.

12:30 PM — Lunch Break

The official break. Finally.

The rush:

  • Everyone moves at once
  • Canteen lines form instantly
  • Seats become premium real estate
  • Time moves faster than any other hour

Reality of a 45-minute lunch break:

  • First 15 min: Getting food
  • Next 15 min: Eating
  • Last 15 min: "Bro, we have to go back"
  • Actually returning: 10 minutes late

1:00 PM — The Post-Lunch Coma

The most dangerous hour for any student.

Symptoms:

  • Heavy eyelids
  • Comfortable seat suddenly too comfortable
  • Professor's voice becoming white noise
  • Detailed notes becoming scribbles

The Fighter: Uses phone brightness as eye stimulus The Surrenderer: Accepts fate, rests head on bag The Strategist: Uses this lecture to catch up on sleep for tonight's studying

2:30 PM — The "Time Has Stopped" Feeling

You check the time. It's 2:30.

You attend what feels like an entire lecture.

You check the time again. It's 2:35.

Conclusion: The afternoon lectures exist in a time vortex.

3:30 PM — The Energy Return

Suddenly, inexplicably, energy returns.

Because:

  • End of the day is near
  • Plans for evening are forming
  • The will to live returns

Group chat activity increases: "What's the plan after college?"

4:00 PM — The Rush to Leave

Last lecture ends. The migration begins.

Everyone's calculation:

  • "If I run, I'll catch the first bus"
  • "The canteen will be empty now"
  • "I can still do [evening activity] if I leave now"

The actual leaving process: Takes 30 minutes of "okay, let's go... okay wait... okay now let's go"

5:00 PM — The "I'll Be Productive Today" Declaration

On the way home or at home, the resolution forms:

"Today I'll actually study. I'll make notes. I'll complete that assignment. I'll be different."

Chances of execution: Approximately 15%.

6:00 PM — The "Just 30 Minutes of Rest" Trap

You lie down. Just to rest your eyes. Just for a moment.

Intention: 30-minute power nap

Reality: Wake up at 9 PM confused about what year it is

7:30 PM — The Evening Plans That Changed

Original plan: Study from 7 PM onwards

Actual activity at 7:30 PM:

  • Scrolling phone
  • "Quick" YouTube video
  • One more episode
  • Dinner
  • More scrolling
  • Guilt

9:00 PM — The "I Should Start" Awareness

The realization hits that nothing has been done.

The bargaining: "If I start now and study until 12, that's 3 hours. That's a lot!"

Reality check: You haven't studied 3 hours consecutively since... when?

10:00 PM — The Actual Study Start

Finally. Books open. Notes out. Ready to go.

First 15 minutes: Productive

Minutes 16-30: Phone check. "Just one message."

Minutes 31-45: Lost in Instagram

Minutes 46-60: "Okay, focus now."

Repeat cycle until midnight.

11:00 PM — The Philosophical Hour

Studying slows. Mind wanders.

Questions that arise:

  • "What am I even doing with my life?"
  • "Why did I choose this field?"
  • "What is the point of this syllabus?"
  • "Is this worth it?"

Duration: 20 minutes

Outcome: No answers, but feels profound

12:00 AM — The Fork in the Road

Option A: "I've done enough. Tomorrow is another day." Leads to: Sleep, wake up late, repeat cycle

Option B: "I'll finish this chapter if it kills me." Leads to: 2 AM, diminishing returns, zombie next day

Option C: "Let me just set a 5:30 alarm and study in the morning." Leads to: Optimism, ignored alarms, history repeating

1:00 AM — The Overtired Energy

If you're still awake, a strange thing happens: you get a second wind.

Activities:

  • Actually focused studying
  • Random deep cleaning of room
  • Life planning sessions
  • Philosophical texts with friends

Tomorrow's regret level: High

2:00 AM — The Surrender

Eyes can't stay open. Brain refuses new information.

The justification: "I've covered the important stuff. Whatever I don't know now, I won't know tomorrow either."

Sleep quality: Poor, but necessary

5:30 AM — The Cycle Restarts

The alarm rings.

You set this alarm with pure intentions.

And so it continues.

Special Time Events

The Exam Day Timeline

  • Night before: "I'll sleep early"
  • Reality: Studying until 3 AM
  • Exam day morning: Somehow running late despite being awake since 5
  • During exam: Time moves too fast for questions you know, too slow for questions you don't
  • After exam: "That wasn't that bad" or "I'm dropping out"

The Submission Deadline Timeline

  • 2 weeks before deadline: "Plenty of time"
  • 1 week before: "Should probably start"
  • 3 days before: "This weekend for sure"
  • Day before: "All-nighter it is"
  • 4 hours before: Peak performance unlocked
  • 30 minutes before: Formatting issues, file won't upload
  • 5 minutes before: Somehow submitted

The Event Day Timeline

  • Event at 5 PM: "I have the whole day"
  • 12 PM: "Still time"
  • 3 PM: "Should probably get ready"
  • 4:30 PM: Running around, nothing is ready
  • 5:15 PM: "We're fashionably late"

Conclusion: Time Is Just a Construct (At Somaiya)

Here's what you learn at Somaiya about time:

  1. Your relationship with alarms will always be adversarial
  2. "5 minutes" is not a measurement but a feeling
  3. Peak productivity happens at 11 PM or during deadlines
  4. The afternoon is a temporal anomaly
  5. Morning plans made at night are fantasies

But somehow, despite all of this:

  • Attendance gets maintained (barely)
  • Assignments get submitted (somehow)
  • Exams get passed (mostly)
  • You survive

Maybe Somaiya Time isn't broken.

Maybe it's the only time system that actually accounts for human nature.

This article is part of 7K's Somaiya humor series. For more perspectives on the absurdity of student life, explore the other articles about campus experiences.