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The Somaiya Survival Manual • Chapter 13

Love, Friendship & Campus Relationships

Pages 189-198

Love, Friendship & Campus Relationships

The Friendship Phases

First Semester

  • Everyone is your friend
  • Names blur together
  • Friendships form quickly
  • Most won't last—that's okay

First Year End

  • Your actual friend group forms
  • Quality over quantity
  • Inside jokes emerge
  • Study groups solidify

Second Year

  • Friends become family
  • You know each other's quirks
  • Group trips happen
  • Life beyond academics is shared

Final Year

  • Nostalgia hits early
  • Making memories intentionally
  • Future plans are discussed
  • Bonds tested by distance ahead

Finding Your People

Where to Meet Them

  • First bench enthusiasts: Library
  • Backbenchers: Canteen
  • Creative souls: Events and fests
  • Nerds: Study groups
  • Party people: Evening hangouts
  • Everyone: Committees and clubs

What to Look For

  • Similar values (not just interests)
  • People who show up when it matters
  • Those who push you to be better
  • Genuine over impressive

Red Flags

  • Only call when they need something
  • Gossip about everyone
  • Compete in toxic ways
  • Make you feel small
  • Disappear when you need them

The Relationship Reality

College Romance Stats

  • Many start one
  • Fewer finish one
  • Some become marriages
  • Most become memories

If You're Single

  • It's not a character flaw
  • Focus on self-development
  • Friendships are relationships too
  • Your person might be elsewhere

If You're In One

  • Maintain your individual identity
  • Don't neglect friends
  • Same class = convenient but risky
  • Keep some things private

If You're Heartbroken

  • It will pass (cliché but true)
  • Lean on friends
  • Don't stalk social media
  • Focus on academics as distraction
  • Avoid rebound relationships

The Group Dynamic

Study Groups

  • 3-4 people maximum
  • Similar work ethic needed
  • Rotate hosting
  • Phones away during study
  • Celebrate together after exams

Hangout Groups

  • Larger is fine
  • Flexible membership
  • Regular meeting spots
  • Shared interests help

Core Circle

  • 2-5 true friends
  • Quality conversations
  • Honest feedback
  • Long-term thinking

Managing Conflict

When Friends Fight

  • Don't pick sides unless necessary
  • Listen before advising
  • Give space when needed
  • Some fights need to happen

When You Fight with Friends

  • Cool down before responding
  • In-person resolution > Text fights
  • Apologize when wrong
  • Some relationships end—that's okay

The Batch Bond

Your batch is special:

  • Shared experiences create unique bonds
  • WhatsApp group might be annoying but valuable
  • Class representatives are the glue
  • Reunions will happen—treasure them in advance

Long-Distance Friendships

After graduation:

  • Quality over frequency
  • Video calls help
  • Group trips when possible
  • Some friendships are forever, most aren't—and that's okay

Advice from Those Who've Been There

  1. Be the friend you want to have
  2. Show up for the small things
  3. Pictures fade, memories don't—make good ones
  4. Not everyone will like you—that's not a failure
  5. Your college friends might be your lifelong tribe

The people you meet here might be the people at your wedding, in your career, through your life. Choose wisely, invest deeply, remember always.